Mother’s Day is so often painted as a perfect picture. Flowers, breakfast in bed, handmade cards, smiling and content photos on social media and messages about how lucky we are to be mums and for many people, it really is a joyful day.
But for others, it’s alot more complicated and sometimes, like for me this week,it’s just really hard.
The truth is that not everyone can celebrate Mother’s Day in the same way — and that’s completely okay. Being a parent carer is the greatest blessing of my life. The love I have for my children is deeper than anything I could have ever imagined. The kids has shaped who I am, taught me strength I didn’t know I had, and given my life a purpose that goes far beyond the everyday. But being a parent carer is NEVER easy.
When you are raising a child who will always need you, motherhood looks different. The journey isn’t the one people often talk about. You hear the phrase a lot in parenting circles — “you only get 18 summers.” The idea that childhood is short, that eventually children grow up, move out and create lives of their own.
For many parent carers like us, that simply isn’t the reality. Motherhood becomes something lifelong in a very different way. There isn’t an “empty nest” waiting at the end. There isn’t always that gradual independence people expect. Instead, there’s a future that continues to revolve around caring, advocating, protecting and supporting and while that brings so much love and meaning, it also changes the shape of motherhood in ways people don’t always understand.
Mother’s Day can also be difficult for other reasons. Losing my own mum has made the day feel different. She was the person who taught me what love looks like, who guided me through life and helped shape the mother I am today. When someone like that is no longer here, days like Mother’s Day carry a quiet sadness alongside everything else. It becomes a reminder of what’s missing as.
That’s why it’s so important to give yourself grace on days like this. If Mother’s Day feels joyful to you, celebrate it. Embrace it. Enjoy the flowers, the cards, the appreciation. But if it feels complicated, emotional or even painful, you are allowed to step away from it. You don’t have to celebrate it in the way the world tells you to. You can mark the day quietly.
You can spend it remembering someone you love. You can make it a normal day. Or you can ignore it altogether. There is no right or wrong way.
Mother’s Day can also bring unrealistic comparison. Social media can make it look like everyone else is having a perfect day filled with appreciation and happiness. But motherhood isn’t one-size-fits-all. Every motherhood journey is different. Some mums are carers. Some are navigating grief. Some are holding families together through challenges nobody else sees and comparing your journey to someone else’s will only ever make it harder.
Your motherhood story is uniquely yours, and it deserves to be honoured in its own way. Mother’s Day can also be a chance to recognise that “mothering” doesn’t only belong to those with that title. There are so many incredible people who nurture, guide and support others every day. Grandmothers. Step-mums. Aunties. Foster carers. Friends. Teachers. Women or female energies who show up with love, patience and care in ways that change lives.
So if Mother’s Day feels like something you want to celebrate, do it in whatever way feels right for you. And if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Give yourself the space to feel whatever you feel. Give yourself the grace to do the day your way. Because motherhood — in all its different forms — is something that deserves compassion, understanding and respect every single day of the year.